Pregnancy // The Unspoken Truths

Friday, July 17, 2015

As I sit here in my office chair, I get a little tickle in my nose. Totes normal, right? Well yeah, all is "normal" until I go to sneeze. Guys... sneezing is not what it used to be. I mean let's be honest. I have had two kids, one of which has a head the size of Mars. Big brains are great & all, but I'd love to sneeze without peeing my pants, please. So.. it got me thinking. Pregnancy is great and I truly believe it's one of God's biggest blessings & miracles on our lives. I rarely complain about being pregnant, because I know it's a privilege and I feel abundantly blessed that I'm able to carry a child with my body. BUT... I'm here to highlight a few of the not so popular elements of this "season". #LAWDHELP

1. Let's just start with it, why don't we... the luxury of sneezing without crossing your legs & praying to Jesus that it all works out. I'd like to say that I have a bladder of steel and have earned the title of a camel from my darling husband (#YOUDIDTHISTOME!), but here's the truth... having kids makes frequent peeing & unwanted peeing a reality that I wish I didn't know.

2. Trampoline Jumping... (see above). A tragedy really, considering Baylor loves to play on the ol' "jumpaline'. Also, I can assume that this is probably not good for the peanut in the womb.

3. Is it just me, or is every other pregnant woman obsessed with food. Like going to bed thinking about doritos & waking up absolutely PINING for 3 chocolate croissants? I'm not a foody person and have no real food addictions, but when I'm pregnant, all I can think about is my next meal. Thankfully, I don't typically gain more than 30-40 lbs, but my goodness, these summer shorts are REAL TIGHT this year. #shakewhatyourmamagaveyou  #thereisnoshakingoverhere

4. Sleep or the lack thereof. Can we just say it... this belly is IN MY WAY. I think I'm being suffocated if I lay on my back and the thought of laying on my stomach makes me want to barf up that bag of cool ranch doritos that I just devoured. #mygo-to I can pretty much kiss that 8 hour night away for the foreseeable future. Also, please don't tell me to "get all the sleep I can before the baby comes", because listen, it's not happening. Not only do I live with half of the B&B circus, and have every emotion pumping through my body at once, but physically, this sleep thing, it's OVER. As in "we are never getting back together". I should really invest in a pair of sunglasses.

5. I'm just going to put this out there - do NOT touch my belly unless invited (VIP only). I loathe when strangers try to touch your belly. Listen bitch, I have enough people hanging on me all day, the last thing I want is your dirty hands on me. Move it or lose it. I just wish that my fetus were smart enough to slap a bitch if they attempt. And really, please don't stare either.

I'm sure more of these will arise as time goes on and I feel less human & more whale, but for now, these are all the things I think about when I think "pregnancy update". 

On the plus side, and despite all these things listed above, I really don't mind being pregnant. I think the fact that it's temporary holds high value, and I always tend to miss this big bump when it's not here. Pregnancy is one of those things... it's just fickle like that. (did someone say pickle?!) 

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Elise said...

I'm not pregnant and I often think about dinner while I am eating lunch... sounds like I am destined for trouble some day! hahaha.

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